Walsh art

My surgeon drew all over me today marking where the tumor was and marking  where my biopsy was taken all while my husband stood and watched... what a great way to spend a Monday. hah! He is the best surgeon in the Silicon Valley(voted by the people) I still get very nervous every time I have to go see him. This time he delivered nothing but good news, tumor much smaller, looks like a lumpectomy will do the job. But the thought of surgery makes me sick to my stomach. I hate surgery, okay so I am trying to eliminate the word “hate” from my vocabulary, I dislike surgery very much. The thought of being cut open, removing chunks of whatever from me, including lymph nods. Being put under with anesthesia is the worst part for me, loss of control, waking up the whole experience makes my mind go crazy and my stomach a ball of nerves!

But, again, I must think positive so this surgery will ultimately remove this God-awful disease from my body including a few lymph nods that were also infected. He thinks sometime after Thanksgiving for this surgery. My last chemo treatment is Nov 11th and my body needs about 2 weeks to 1 month to recover enough before surgery. Then he will go in and work his magic. I will stay overnight and have some sort of drain bag in me for a week. If all goes well then I will have radiation soon thereafter. There is a chance he would have to go back in for a full mastectomy if the disease wasn’t completely removed, but I will hope and pray that a lumpectomy will be enough. I also hope I become a bit more excited for this surgery rather than nervous.

Over the weekend I was excited to attend the annual Kinship Food & Wine Tasting. This year I was the DD for the crew that joined Manny & I… first time ever! It was wonderful getting out and seeing everyone. We even went to a couple bars including one that had a band and I danced every chance I got. I was just happy to get out and not be at home… even if it meant squeezing hand sanitizer on my hand every 20 minutes! ; )

Me excited DD for the evening!

Sam & I got a picture in also ; ) I swear I am wearing a dress!

Until next time

SMILE! 
Kelly Freitas

The grass is greener…

In my back yard! Literally! My husband, father and family have been working hard on our yard and we are no longer the ugly duckling of the neighborhood! Here is a before and after…

 

After!

Isn’t it AMAZING?!

Now figuratively speaking the grass IS greener for me these days! With 2 of the new treatments behind me and only 10 more to go! These treatments so far have been 100 times easier to handle. I am so happy to have more good days than bad and all the while still killing cancer. These weekly treatments were a bit scary for me at first but now that I have completed two it’s not that bad. During treatment I am pumped with Benadryl, which completely knocks me out. It starts with a little bit of slurring words, eyes drooping maybe some “I love You, Man” to the nurse then finally I pass out sleep for bit. Alright, it’s not college life, but it’s the best buzz I get these days and I will take it over the alternative!  hee hee!

Below is a picture of my temporary office on Wednesday's, Tia Frances joined me again ; ) partly because she wanted to and partly because she had to drive me! My mom broke her foot gardening the night before. OUCH!

More green grass… My brother and family have been planning the awesome event in honor of me. (I really don’t know how I am going to go back to life before cancer, I am soooo spoiled now!) Anyway, they have this great Pink Rock Benefit Concert (click there or here) planned to help raise money for my bills and fertility treatments (you should see our mailbox these days!). I am just so grateful to have people like this around me I have so much support in so many ways it’s hard to thank everyone enough. If you can make it I would love to see all of you. Music, good people and good times!

Hope you have an amazing day and can find your “green grass”

Until next time,

SMILE!
Kelly Freitas

Benefit Concert!

My brother, Dave Alvernaz and my family have been kind enough to put together
a fun event where everyone is welcome! The flyer is below and if you have any questions please feel free to contact the phone number or email Manny at mannyfreitas@hotmail.com  

We would love to see you there!

A/C treatment DONE!

That title is probably Greek to most of you! But my first run of chemo treatments are done! YAY! A/C (aka Adriamycin & Cytoxan) are the two drugs I have been taking the past 8 weeks. Now I am officially done with those which means NO MORE NAUSEA! That little red devil (A of the A/C) is a real doozy and I am happy to be through that! One of the strongest woman I know kept me company during this small milestone, she is Tia Frances! My everyday inspiration doesn’t come from inside me, it comes from the people all around. I am who I am because of the people around me. She is someone I will always admire and little did I know her strength was something I needed that day. This last treatment really kicked my butt. Physically I was wiped out! Fever, tired, achy, sore throat, hot flashes… you name it I had it! I do typically get all of these symptoms after treatment this time they were just much more intense, I guess it was the A/C saying one last good bye to me… well CIAO you red devil, I am happy to see you leave.

Me and Tia Frances, of course my other rock, my mom took this photo!

Along with these physical crash days I go through, my spirit is slowly working its way down. I am sure the constant sickness and the inevitable road ahead are part of this loss of positive thoughts. However I have to say sometimes it feels really good to cry. As I have said before I am human and this is a tough road- most the time I do smile my way through it. But there are things that get me, like after one of my crash days when I have spent the entire day laying on the sofa with zero sleep and still feel like crap! Or when I look at myself in the mirror and the long brown hair is now a bald head! Or when my husband and mother have to do most or all the housework, make my meals while I just lay down. Or I hear of someone expecting a baby, bittersweet emotions overcome me, extremely happy for them but burst into tears because I can’t do that right now. Little things like this just overwhelm me more often these days. I want so badly to just go back to being a 30 year old who just got married and go to work everyday, meet friends for drinks and worry about the stupid stuff.

This journey no doubt has changed me, I have a new perspective on what is really important in life. I thought I understood this before, but I didn’t. I appreciate the days I do feel good and I try make those days better by being with the people that make me happy. Watching movies, hanging out just being with them period, no excuses just happy laughing. These are the days that make the sad days fewer and far between. I am happy the medicine is working and happy to be one step closer to finishing chemo!

Until next time…

SMILE!
Kelly Freitas

Kelly vs. Cancer

And Kelly is taking the lead!!! ; )

Okay enough of third person. Since last I wrote I had my 3rd treatment where my mom joined me, it was a quiet day in the office, then Julie surprised me with flowers and her company, including her 2 little ones. It was such a great end to my treatment.

Me and my mom at treatment 3, sporting my wig

I went to my surgeon on Thursday for a follow up and check up to make sure my chemo is working as expected. Well it is and he measured my tumor and estimates it is HALF the size it was!!! YEE HOO!! That’s right half the size he stated that if the rest of my treatment goes like this I will most likely be a lumpectomy as planned! DOUBLE YEE HOO!! 

Until Next time!

SMILE!
Kelly Freitas

It’s Official, I am a Sinead O’connor look alike

Well this weekend my hair started falling out in chunks! Every time I touched it or combed it Manny and I were in amazement on how much came out. Manny was even more amazed at how much was still on my head! I knew I had a lot of hair but it was insane how much would come out and my hair still looked okay. That was until I took a shower on Saturday. As most of you know I am pretty happy and positive most the time, but I am human and I do have my moments. Saturday in the shower was that moment for me. The hair came out, and came out and came out, and I freaked out! Crying and screaming for Manny, he came up right away and the first thing he says to me, “babe, it will grow back…you look beautiful!” It was really hard to get out of this funk, standing there wet while Manny held me, reminding me to stay positive and cheer up. After a while I did cheer up, and we went to hang out with family. Always a good distraction, family, nephews, niece all there enjoying each others company. 

I always said I would shave my head when I was ready, well Sunday I was ready. It was getting everywhere and the inevitable was coming so why not buzz it right? Well we set up shop in our master bathroom. I even pulled up the webcam so my sister could watch and cheer me on via her web cam. Manny first started by cutting it short, giving me a lovely bi-level cut, a Victoria Beckham look, then some sort bangs and short do that made me look like a Beatle! He then pulled out the clippers put on a #4 and started shaping my hair for a Mohawk… which I think I rocked pretty well! I even took the clippers to my own head for a bit. After styling the Mohawk and taking photos, we finally finished the job. Took a few more pics and voila! I am now sporting a new short do. Here are some pics from the Mohawk! Let me know what you think, I love reading comments!

Me and my “Rock-On” pose!

Another angle of the hawk, also the final product with a Rosie pose! (ignore all the hair on my shoulders… Yuck!)

Keep an eye out for me and my new wig.

Ciao for now!

Smile,
Kelly Freitas

2 down!

Well I have officially completed Chemo #2, yesterday! Yee hoo! This time it was my mother and Julie who joined me. Great way to pass the time, it seemed to go by faster with great company. Julie even brought along the game Clue (my favorite!) so sweet.  We talked about me, talked about Julie and her upcoming baby (here’s hoping it’s a girl!) and watched the wedding video. All while killing cancer cells, awesome!

Me and Julie, after I had been hooked up to the drugs.

I had to tweak the photo a bit, the lighting in the office really makes you look like an oompa looma!

Since last time I have made it through chemo #1 and my side effects are pretty darn bearable!  They are not fun, but bearable, no vomiting (YAY) Here is what I do have, nausea only when I get hungry, dry eyes and mouth, a metallic taste in my mouth, tiredness, headaches, short of breath (just the 1st few days), hot flashes, and when I wake up at night (every 2 hours or so) I feel like I am 200 pounds heavier and it’s really hard to get out of bed. With my blood booster shot I have about 24-30 hours of massive bone pain, in my lower spine and back, that was REALLY hard for me, especially at 3am when I am dog tried and the only thing that helped was standing up. I waited a half hour for the Tylenol to kick in, then finally got to lay down and fall asleep. (I think all the moms out there recognize most of these side effects as pregnancy! LOL) And the week before this treatment I felt like myself again. Same energy as before my white blood cells were “normal”, and my platelets and red were “great” So in the clear for treatment #2.

All the nurses and doctors where amazed that I still had all my hair! Although I say “had” because it is definitely coming out now, and I have sooo much it may just take longer than usual. But either way, it’s just hair, it grows back. I just hope my eyebrows stay, hee hee. MJ (aka Manny, or Manuel Joseph) and I are all set to take the clippers to my head. He has been dying to do this. I on other hand can wait until it’s absolutely necessary. We will keep you posted!

My sister made me an awesome necklace with the help of friends and family! Everyone pitched it with a bead (big & small) to make a large necklace that goes past my belly button. But stylish me ; ) wears it wrapped around twice and I think it looks great that way! The necklace came with many letters of encouragement and details of why and who picked which beads. Manny joked that he would only have a bracelet if the same was made for him! ha-ha I am so lucky to have so many people who love me, or like me enough anyway.

Me and my necklace, notice the double up style ; )

Also, my (new) sister-in-law, Shawna arranged a dinner plan for me. It has been great and always delivered the day I need it the most. Perfect! I am afraid I will be to spoiled once all of this is done, then I will have to cook dinner myself again GASP! the HORROR! Ohwell all good things have to come to an end eventually right, then you never are as grateful if it didn’t right? Ohwell, I still have time to enjoy these delivered dinners. Thank you to everyone pitching in they have all been delicious!

Well I am off to spend the evening with my hubby, I am currently working from home and like it so far.

Until next time,

SMILE!
Kelly Freitas (2 months today with me new name!)