That title is probably Greek to most of you! But my first run of chemo treatments are done! YAY! A/C (aka Adriamycin & Cytoxan) are the two drugs I have been taking the past 8 weeks. Now I am officially done with those which means NO MORE NAUSEA! That little red devil (A of the A/C) is a real doozy and I am happy to be through that! One of the strongest woman I know kept me company during this small milestone, she is Tia Frances! My everyday inspiration doesn’t come from inside me, it comes from the people all around. I am who I am because of the people around me. She is someone I will always admire and little did I know her strength was something I needed that day. This last treatment really kicked my butt. Physically I was wiped out! Fever, tired, achy, sore throat, hot flashes… you name it I had it! I do typically get all of these symptoms after treatment this time they were just much more intense, I guess it was the A/C saying one last good bye to me… well CIAO you red devil, I am happy to see you leave.
Me and Tia Frances, of course my other rock, my mom took this photo!
Along with these physical crash days I go through, my spirit is slowly working its way down. I am sure the constant sickness and the inevitable road ahead are part of this loss of positive thoughts. However I have to say sometimes it feels really good to cry. As I have said before I am human and this is a tough road- most the time I do smile my way through it. But there are things that get me, like after one of my crash days when I have spent the entire day laying on the sofa with zero sleep and still feel like crap! Or when I look at myself in the mirror and the long brown hair is now a bald head! Or when my husband and mother have to do most or all the housework, make my meals while I just lay down. Or I hear of someone expecting a baby, bittersweet emotions overcome me, extremely happy for them but burst into tears because I can’t do that right now. Little things like this just overwhelm me more often these days. I want so badly to just go back to being a 30 year old who just got married and go to work everyday, meet friends for drinks and worry about the stupid stuff.
This journey no doubt has changed me, I have a new perspective on what is really important in life. I thought I understood this before, but I didn’t. I appreciate the days I do feel good and I try make those days better by being with the people that make me happy. Watching movies, hanging out just being with them period, no excuses just happy laughing. These are the days that make the sad days fewer and far between. I am happy the medicine is working and happy to be one step closer to finishing chemo!
Until next time…
SMILE!
Kelly Freitas
